I am outraged at the recent death of 2 year old Cecilia Slaby. Even more than at the act, that so far, the news I've followed reports that the mom that killed her is not being charged! How can she not be charged?! You can go to jail for not paying parking tickets, for neighbor/property disputes, for abusing an animal - but not for killing your own daughter??!
I have read chatroom posts on both sides of the issue. One comment that struck me was that she has suffered enough, that she has to live with this the rest of her life. Yeah, she does and she should do so in prison! Everyone else who commits a crime also has to live with with it the rest of their lives and suffer, but in prison, why is this different?
Why does this enrage me so? As a professional organizer, my work is dedicated to people who want to slow down, simplify, and manage their lives better. I see people at their worst in terms of busyness, stress, and mess. My passion is teaching people that they can enjoy their lives without all the stuff; without all the activities and material possessions. Get rid of the stuff and you get rid of the stress and Voila! you are happy and enjoy your life. OK, it's not that easy, but that is the general concept.
The message being sent to America from this horrible tragedy is that being busy is an excuse. It's OK to forget things or be stressed or not be at the top of your ballgame or be preoccupied because you are too busy.
NO IT's NOT!!
The prosecuters are just as busy and they need to justify their own busy behavior or have to take a long, hard look at it and realize that they need to slow down as well. Easier to let her off, I guess.
Another comment I read was well who's the perfect parent? Haven't you ever been preoccupied or forgotten something? No I'm not the perfect parent and yes I've forgotten things - but not my child! I even forgot my dog in the car in the driveway once. But it sure occurred to me long before 8 hours that he was in there! And it was a huge lesson to me that I was too busy, that I needed to slow down and eliminate some chaos from my life. And I'll be the first one to tell you that because I was stressed and busy did not make it OK!! And the design of my SUV had nothing to do with it...
Monica Ricci, a fellow organizer in Atlanta, and owner of
Catalyst Organizing had this to say on her blog yesterday:
"The tragic death
of Cecilia Slaby makes me nearly physically sick. Little Cecilia's mother,
Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby, had changed her morning routine that day, stopping at a
bakery for donuts and heading straight to work instead of dropping Cecilia off
at the babysitter. Arriving at her job, Slaby pulled the eight dozen donuts out
of the back of her SUV, shut the car doors and left her 2-year old daughter
strapped into her car seat. For eight hours. On a 90-degree Ohio day...
you do the math. The toddler died of heatstroke, a slow and agonizing death,
to be sure.
Nesselroad-Slaby, an assistant principal at a middle school, is quoted as
saying, "I was trying to be everything to
everybody and I failed my daughter." Damn straight she did, and
her little girl is dead because of it.
Now listen, before all you parents out there flame me to a crisp, hear me
out. I know it's hard bringing up children. I know you're busy. I know you have
a lot going on. I know you're preoccupied. And yes, parenthood is an
unbelievably taxing job. But this mother was absolutely right when she said she
failed her daughter because she was
trying to be everything to everybody. At what
point does being "busy and preoccupied" get to the point where you fatally
neglect the most important thing in your life?
The moral of this story? Slow down a little. Stay as present in the moment as
you can. Pay attention! You may find you enjoy your commute a bit more or notice
a beautiful sunset. Or maybe you'll just avoid killing your own child."
So I'm not the only organizer outraged out there.
Here's one of my favorite newsreels:
Could the design of the SUV have made it hard to see (the 2 year old)? Yeah, let's blame somebody else for Cecelia's mom's negligence. Maybe we could even sue the manufacturer because it was their fault. The mom could become real rich out of the deal.
One more comment and complaint - the mom had actually been warned by her other daughters preschool and police after they found her in a habit of leaving Cecilia in the car to bring her other daughter into school. You can bet that wasn't the only place she left in the car!
Within days a police officer forgets his police dog in the car and the dog dies. Anyone want to take bets on whether he gets charged?
Let's get it together folks. We need to stop the busyness epidemic in our country and stop the senseless deaths of our children. After all, what is more important in our lives than our children??!! Certainly not doughnuts...
